Valerie Cassity-Special to the Sun

The first Kern River Valley Parent Project®, a 10-week course being offered by Summit High School and the Family Resource Center to help parents of troubled teens, ended last Tuesday, March 27, and the parents couldn't have been happier with the progress they have made.

Last time we checked in with the Parent Project®, after only three weeks with the program, we had learned that Tonya* had entered the program because she was at her wits end with her two teenage sons, 15-year-old Kyle* and 17-year-old Mike*, who prior to the Parent Project® were “out of control.” After only three classes, Tonya saw a difference in the attitude and behavior of both of her sons. After completion of the program, Tonya says her children are now like different, better behaved people, and says she has the Parent Project® to thank for it. She elaborated that Kyle is finally doing his schoolwork in class and doing homework at home, which he was not doing at all before. The boys have also stopped fighting with each other and arguing with Tonya about doing chores because of the “the T spot” method, where if the children do something wrong, you take privileges such as TV, games, and telephone away from them depending on the severity of their actions. If it's minor, you take it away for one day; for major offenses, privileges are taken away for three days. She also uses the “five Ws”; who, what, where, when, and why, for her sons whenever they want to go out now, and says it has alleviated some of the miscommunication that has led to problems in the past.

Tonya has also adopted the Parent Project® six-step action plan for parenting: 1. Tell your child how you feel, 2. Establish a rule and expect success, 3. Active supervision, 4. consequences, 5. Consistency in following through, and 6. What else should I do to help ensure success? “If you use the six steps, it really works,” said Tonya. “Each time I think of something else I can do.”

Tonya and the rest of the parents who completed the Parent Project® will continue to meet every two weeks to complete the last six lessons on their own. The group has become very close, like an extended family, and Tonya knows that they will help each other to succeed. “It's amazing,” exclaimed Tonya. “I wish that I had this class when my daughter was younger!”

Unfortunately, the other family we met in our first of this series had to leave the program after a month due to an unexpected medical condition, but they will be returning for the next session, which begins April 9. “It was very helpful and I liked that it was a family-oriented class,” said Sarah*, who was attending with her boyfriend Dave before having to leave the program early. “I noticed my kids' attitudes changed for the better when we went; because they knew we were going because we cared,” she said.

Parent Project® volunteer facilitators Elaine Roach and Jo Gledhill couldn't be happier with the program's initial success, and said that in the beginning, most of the parents were quiet and shy, and by they end of the 10 weeks everyone was completely engaged and had bonded deeply. “It was so exciting to see them interact and share and realize they are not alone,” said Gledhill. “These are answers I never would have thought of. When you have a plan, you have power; you can revert back to the plan. If you have no plan, you're pulling your hair out.”

The Parent Project® is a nationwide program presented by schools, police and probation departments, mental health agencies, churches, and other community-based organizations, where parents attend and learn in a classroom setting to manage teen behavior problems at home, and the focus is helping parents learn specific ways to help change negative behavior.

Each participant is given a workbook titled “A Parent's Guide to Change Destructive Adolescent Behavior,” which reinforces the concepts learned in class. There are over 120 trained Parent Project® facilitators in Kern County alone and over 3,500 facilitators across the U.S. Attendance is mandatory for each class, and participants must be prompt. The program has been 13 years in development, and is the only course of its kind. It was developed in direct response to the questions and challenges parents say they are facing with their strong-willed teenagers.

The curriculum teaches concrete identification, prevention, and intervention strategies for the most destructive of adolescent behaviors, such as poor school attendance and performance, alcohol and other drug use, gangs, runaways, and violent teens. Over 150,000 families have attended The Parent Project® courses nationwide.

The next class begins April 9, and it is filling up quickly. To learn more, you can call Mr. Ransick at Summit Continuation School at 379-3997. “These classes will continue on indefinitely because there will be a need for this indefinitely,” said Roach.

*Participants names have been changed to protect their privacy.