Angela Durrell - Kern Valley Sun

Friday night was the first in a long list of fundraising events on behalf of the mayoral candidates for Whiskey Flat Days. Vintage Val the Answer Gal hosted a soiree at Cheyenne’s in Riverkern Saturday night, and her supporters were out in force to lend encouragement and pony up the requisite bribes.

In addition to her fundraising projects’Äîthe Hospital Auxiliary as well as Academic/Vocational Scholarships’ÄîVal has begun opining about the problems and issues affecting our fair valley, namely the lamentable state of the Isabella Dam.

Attendees of Vintage Val’s soiree at Cheyenne’s rock out Friday.

Wanting to do her part to help shore up the integrity of the man-made monolith, she is accepting donations of dirt and rock, which she plans to collect en masse and forthwith give it to whoever is in charge over at the Dam.

Some whisperings were heard, however, expressing concern as to whether this is the true intention behind the gesture. 'You know, with enough dirt, she could possibly build a moat and a gate,' opined one citizen, who asked to remain anonymous. 'Is she zoned for that? Where is she going to keep all of it?'

Another of Val’s future aspirations as prospective Mayor is to reinvigorate the Big Blue Mine by putting a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow in the Valley. How she intends to procure the gold and transport it was not clear.

No doubt these will be key questions during the upcoming campaign’Äîdirt being the prized and rare commodity it is in these parts, and rainbow tampering a potential hotbed of environmental concern. But on Friday, such questions did not dampen the enthusiasm of the crowd or the energy of the candidate, whose top priority was making sure her guests were fed and watered, and that her raffle box was displayed prominently for the convenience of surreptitious contributions.