George Stahl

There are many unexplained phenomenon in this world. UFO’s, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and the Chupacabra just to name a few.

Beyond these another stands out as just as mysterious and often elusive. The seemingly endless collection of women’s shoes that can fit into even the smallest of closets. Unlike most of the legends we all hear about every so often, these shoes myths are not isolated to any certain region of the country or world. They have been seen everywhere. This far surpasses the mystery of a large, human-like ape roaming the vast wilderness virtually undetected. Tucked away in their hiding places, they are better camouflaged than a prehistoric dinosaur swimming beneath the waves of a Scottish mountain lake. When they are selected to accentuate the days outfit, or shine with eveningwear, the shoes stand out and are seen by more than just the one or the few who witness the multicolored lights running along the cigar shaped object hovering over the Valley or the meadows in the night sky.

There are those that appear to be made up of several different materials and styles of shoe. More so than a multi-species, angry, snarling midsized creature appearing as if out of nowhere to ravage goats and other small barnyard animals.

It may be true that I have more tools than I need. I may even have one or two that I really don’t even know how to use yet. It’s even a fact, that because of their number each one no longer has a place of it’s own in the shed or garage. Consequentially they occupy any available space when not being used, and not necessarily out of sight.

My wife’s shoes on the other hand seem to have a place to be when they are not on her feet. I’m not sure where that is though. Every once in a while I will see one or five pair spread out on the closet floor, but the others are hiding somewhere. I know they are there for two reasons. She always tells me when she’s purchased another pair, and then quickly they go to join the others. I don’t see them again until we are getting ready to go out or to work and she has them on.

Another reason I know they are around is that…..I had an encounter. I remember once, I was looking for a shirt to wear and suddenly, behind my clothes there was an entire cluster of her shoes! I thought I had found the nest. But it was only about eight or nine pairs, not the whole colony. The Queen pair was not there. Had I had the time or the desire, I probably could have found them, but at the time, I had neither.

Maybe, someday, I’ll get up the nerve or the curiosity to go on a shoe safari….uhm….no, I don’t think so. Might be better to leave them settled and undisturbed.

Meanwhile I will be content with my five pair of shoes and I see no harm in letting my wife indulge in her passion to keep adding to her shoe supply. So far, her bi-pedal covering population has not forced me further out of the closet. I can live well without a shoe sighting. Besides, who would believe me? I mean, besides just about every man.

By the way. I’ve seen a UFO, I have smelled a Bigfoot, and have spotted a cluster of women’s shoes. In each case, though, I haven’t gotten any proof. Not a photo, not a hair, or a shoelace.

That doesn’t mean these things do not exist.

Contact George at stahl_george@yahoo.com